Cara

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 00:29:38 GMT

there has got to be more to life.

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 14:35:36 GMT

flight leaves at 11:45 am today! i'm so excited. i don't know if i'm more excited about getting out of stupid vegas, or seeing christina, haha. this is my first time flying all by myself. i'm not even worried about that, i'm worried about getting through the airport by myself? god haha.
i'll have pictures when i get back.. probably a lot. see you in a week!

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 03:16:48 GMT

why do people love putting ideas into my head? let me believe and think what i want, damnit! stop trying to change my opinion. not cool.

oh and by the way, chrya and i decided to delete our myspaces. hahahahaha.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 05:59:26 GMT

at first, things between us used to be amazing. but YOU rushed things. you told me how you feel in less than 48 hours of knowing each other. there was nothing left to say, just repeated feelings. i get sick of hearing it after awhile, and these kind, sweet, gentle words lose its depth and its magic. so where does the good go? it goes down the drain, and the bad inserts my brain. my heart is telling me not to treat you so horribly, but my brain is telling me that i need to treat you like the last person on earth to get you off my back. so why do i listen to my brain? because i don't think i've ever listened to my heart in my life. that scares me, it really does. i should stop blaming you for everything. i should think before i speak. and i should definitely realize how good i have it. you're life is horrible, it really is. i'm so sorry. you're such a nice guy. you're strong, and i respect you to the highest power. i can't believe i've done so wrong to you. but, i guess i'm not used to nice guys. you know those fairytale boys? yeah, i'm not digging the whole perfect guy. no way. i'm sorry that i couldn't make this last, i'm sorry that i can't make anything last when it comes to caring about someone. i just need to learn from my mistakes, but i'm still learning. i hope you can find something good left inside of me. i'm still in the process of sucking out the poison. and i'm sorry that i gave you a taste of that poison.

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 07:00:54 GMT

well, my summer so far has been okay. first day of summer was amazing. i came home from school, well to morgan's which pretty much is home, then hung out for about an hour. my boyfriend called and came to pick me up. we went back to his place. and it was nice, i had fun. we spent probably 8 hours together, without a dull moment. anyways, i hung out with my people for the rest of the night. on friday, my mother and i went shopping. i got a few things, but not too much. it wasn't one of our little "full on shopping trips" ahah. it was fun though. on saturday my aunt came in town, then later on my other aunt and my uncle. that's when the family started rolling in. long story short. they were here for my brother's graduation, and graduation party. they were here for about a week. everyone was gone by friday evening. i went to morgan's house and had some quality tetris time! haha, and we video gamed it up. we have mad gamer skills, that's for sure. i spent the whole weekend with her. i came home today, and celebrated father's day with my father, obviously. it was nice, kind of awkward. i came home and looked for something to do. my plan was to go see my babygirl chrya, but that didn't work out on account of me getting GROUNDED. that's where this whole reason for posting this entry came in. i'm grounded for one week. isn't that wonderful? i was occupied all last week with some pretty awkward and boring activities. and this week: absolutely no activities! isn't that the cherry on top of the sundae!? anyways, i guess i'll try and make the best out of it. the thing that really puts me down horribly is that it's one of my favorite people, richard's last week in town until he moves to california. we had plans wednesday to go see a movie together, and spend some time together since it'll be my last time seeing him for awhile. and i had plans with tyler tomorrow which i was totally stoked about, but guess that isn't happening either. i'm sorry to the both of you, even though there's about a 1 out of 10 chance you'll read this, hah. anyways. hopefully i get off earlier, even just a day earlier, then i'll be happy. hm, i really need a cigarette right about now. this week of my "groundation" i'll probably exercise a lot, and burn off some of that weight i've gained with all this fast food, going out to eat non-sense. i'll probably be posting later, i'm going to try and plan an all nighter and what better way to spend my late hours on this here wonderful site! night darlings.

Fri, 04 May 2007 01:45:37 GMT

I'm basically talking to myself.
But, I thought I'd let myself know that the second post I had down there about "changing myself, habits, etc."
Yeah.
I really have progressed in my behavior, looks, and thoughts since then.
I am now losing weight. (THE RIGHT WAY) it's easy, easy, easy.
My doctor says by the end of next month, if I keep doing things how I'm doing them, I should have lost 9 pounds by then.
And what I'm doing now isn't even much, haha.

OH, AND BY THE WAY. FUCK CRAMPS, FORREAL. >:[

I'm not as immature as I used to be. I mean, yeah I know that wasn't that long ago when I said I'm tired of acting immature, but I really have been different. I love it. I'm happy.

To be perfectly frank, I still do think people are figures out trying to put me down. I've still yet to concur that fear of mine, ahah.
Besides that, I've had a new conclusion on humans.
No matter how much you don't like them, and don't want to bother with them, they all have a story so let them tell it.

Lately, I've been digging the whole non-styled hair look, not too much makeup, loose clothes, comfortable pants (yes, I said comfortable), hats, curly hair, and soft/relaxing music.
I could go on about what I love, but those are the main things.
and for music, that's ALWAYS been the love of my life.

I'm still trying to figure out who I am though.
I'm Cara, and maybe I'm not supposed to be summed up.
Maybe my life was meant to be full of surprises, and random changes.
I sure hope so, if not.. i'm fucked.

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 04:04:23 GMT

She is so sad lately.
I've seen so many people she's been close with come and go.
They don't realize what they are missing out on. Seriously.
I hate how I have no clue what to do to help her out.
All I can do is listen, understand, analyze, and respond.
I'm here for her. But sometimes that's just not good enough.
She is such a beautiful girl to not be smiling as much as she should be.
People need to open their eyes to the great things about her, and not her flaws.
I really hope she is okay.
All I want is for her to be happy.
She is my best friend, my sister, my wifey, my EVERYTHING, really.
once she is okay, then I'll be okay.

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 07:32:11 GMT

Like seriously.
I hung out with my mom, her friend Lola, and Tammy.
Frankly.. I thought it would be so boring. And I expect Lola and Tammy to be some boring people with no style.
And they walked up together, and Tammy is gorgeous. She has blonde hair, with really big blue eyes and shes so tiny and had the most beautiful red dress on.
Lola is an African-American woman. She is the most gorgeous one I've seen. And she's so cute and her collar bones just popped out. They are amazing.
I talked to them about everything, and they are so smart and wonderful.
My mom and them all laughed about stuff, and I realized how happy they made my mom. And it made me happy.
I had more fun with a bunch of 24-26 year olds, then I ever think I have with any of my friends.
We went to The Cheesecake Factory at Ceaser's Palace to eat. After, we went to go see miss Celion Dion!
She was INSPIRING.
I love her so much.
Her music is spectacular, and she made me feel so happy to be there.
I can't stop listening to her music on my computer right now.
The show was amazing, and the audience was great.
I loved tonight, so much.
Lola gave me some books since she loves books. I'm going to read them real soon.
I can't wait to see Tammy and Lola again. And my mom, well I love her so much for taking me to hang out with her and her friends.
I'm going to bed now, I'm beyond tired.

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 20:52:56 GMT

I have a new livejournal now.